FOOD FRIDAY: Going crackers.
Indignity Vol. 4, No. 173
COMPLAINT DEP'T.
Am I Losing My Mind, or Are The Cheez-Its Not The Same?
I LOVE THE Cheez-It® tiny snack cracker. I prefer Cheez-It® to its competitor, Cheese Nips®, which is good for me, I guess, because I only now just noticed it looks like you can't get Cheese Nips® easily anymore at a grocery store, you gotta import them from Canada under an assumed name, "Cheese Nibs," who knew?
Also, Indignity does not get anything if you buy some Cheese Nibs from Canada, just saying, we aren't like the fucking Wirecutter or whatever, rakin' it in from Amazon dot com. They even just straight-up shill for Amazon's sales, jeez, look at this shit. Also, to be clear, Indignity also does not get anything for showing you this link to the Wirecutter shilling for Amazon.
Anyway, it's FOOD FRIDAY! Let's get back on track with some Cheez-It® hyperbole from the Cheez-It® site, for which we further-also don't get any sort of commission for mentioning.
The square shape, the rigid edges and that hole in the middle – everything about this baked snack cracker is the real deal, especially the cheese.
The "real deal" doesn't mention the height of a Cheez-It®, and this is my complaint. I recently impulse-sale-purchased some boxes of Cheez-It® in the "Original" flavor, and just a sidebar, as many times as I have gone wild and tried any of the mutated versions of Cheez-It®, I always go back to the regular ones.
Okay, so the tallness of my Cheez-It®, WTF, is it me, am I imagining things? Look at this picture, I don't have any previous boxes of Cheez-It® to compare, but I swear they are not as poufy as they used to be.
I swear they are flatter! They feel sorta concave, the bottom of each Cheez-It®.
I am going to launch a full investigation, but I would be interested in the thoughts of any Indignity readers who have been affected by this possible disturbance in the Cheez-It®verse. Thank you.
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City to New Haven, Connecticut, to New York City, October 3, 2024
★★★★ Light was pushing through the clouds nearby, but downtown's sky was thick and gloomy. A wake spread smooth, glassy ripples on the Harlem River, under what was not so much sun as a sunlike white spot. Further out and away, children in helmets peddled bikes around a traffic circle in a tranquil-looking neighborhood. Flame color was spreading on a tree in an empty section of golf course. On the way into Rowayton sun through the trees began strobing on the pages of an open book. The sky was blue and the streaks and scratches on the train window were glittering. A light jacket was necessary for a hasty lunch outside the cafe, but was strictly optional for the walking afterward. Light came down through the campus leaves in an appropriately collegiate manner. Amid the still-prevailing green one honeylocust had dumped its golden burden to fill the gutter. A frisbee sailed steeply up above a grassy courtyard and came down again untouched. There was a palpable temperature difference between the sheltered interior and the open street. Students sat on the lawn with music playing. Leaves hung in the sunlit veil of cobwebs over the bronze face of Theodore Dwight Woolsey. The sky from the southbound rails was full of majestic light-gray cumulus, edged in white. Phragmites leaned their heads. People were out rowing on the rivers in the long light. Wild streaks of color flashed by as the rock face and its clinging growth pressed close to the train. The windows threw reflections onto the passing graffiti. The sky over the crossing to Manhattan Island was clear. A breeze blew into the mouth of the subway stairs and an airplane backlit by sun passed above the shadowed cross street.
SIDE PIECES DEP'T.
Tom Scocca
FOR DEFECTOR, I wrote about the vice presidential debate and the moment when JD Vance's shameless debating skills hit an obstacle he couldn't ignore:
After all that effort to seem normal and reasonable, Vance had found himself caught—on the most obvious of questions—between the two most extreme influences on his worldview: his absolute political subservience to Trump, and his intellectual suffocation in the far-right online bubble of his tech-lord benefactors. Vance's job depends on never telling the truth about Donald Trump; his model of the world requires him to believe that the general public shares his outrage about the supposed suppression of conservative voices on social media. And so he thought he saw a chance to change the subject.
Even the jumbled-up Tim Walz could see what to do with that. "He lost this election, and he said he didn't," Walz said. "One hundred and forty police officers were beaten at the Capitol that day, some with the American flag. Several later died." How, Walz said, could someone "deny what happened on January 6, the first time in American history that a President or anyone tried to overturn a fair election and the peaceful transfer of power"?
Vance still seemed to think he could find a winning position: "Yeah, well, look, Tim, first of all, it's really rich for Democratic leaders to say that Donald Trump is a unique threat to democracy when he peacefully gave over power on January 20, as we have done for 250 years in this country." Donald Trump gave up power on Jan. 20—after the blood and shit and broken glass had been scrubbed and swept out of the Capitol, after the military and Congressional leadership had cut him out of the chain of command, after every other option had been exhausted—peacefully.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
Click on this box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from 250 Meatless Menus And Recipes To Meet The Requirements Of People Under The Varying Conditions Of Age, Climate And Work, by Eugene Christian and Mollie Griswold Christian, published in 1910, and now in the Public Domain and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
RAISIN SANDWICHES
To one-half cup of finely chopped raisins add one-fourth cup grated nuts and one-fourth cake of fresh cream cheese, mix thoroughly and spread between unfired wafers or whole-wheat De Luxe crackers.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
MARKETING DEP'T.
Supplies are really and truly running low of the second printing of 19 FOLK TALES, still available for gift-giving and personal perusal! Sit in the crushing heat with a breezy collection of stories, each of which is concise enough to read before the thunderstorms start.
A Word from FLAMING HYDRA: The SWAG Fundraiser and ARCHIVE PROJECT
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This collection of top-shelf pieces from The Awl, edited by Carrie Frye and published and produced by Flaming Hydra in consultation with The Awl’s original editors and contributors, will also include ALL NEW commentary and original essays from contributors and readers.
