Hop to some bargains
Indignity Vol. 5, No. 71
ROLLING BACK THE PRICES DEP'T.
Half-Price Easter Candy Ranked From Most Exciting to Most Disappointing
EASTER WAS YESTERDAY. The Pope handed out some chocolate eggs and then died. But more seasonal sweets live on in the drugstore and grocery, where they are now available at bargain rates.
Solid chocolate
Chocolate filled with stuff
High-end or gimmicky hollow chocolate
Regular candy in novelty package
Regular-ass candy in Easter wrapper
Gummi/soft candy in festive shapes
Peeps
WEATHER REVIEWS
New York City to Wynnewood, Pennsylvania, to New York City, April 20, 2025
★★★★★ The suffocating air of bedtime had been tossed off like unwanted covers to leave a cool, fresh predawn. The breeze raised a chiming woodblock sound as it shook the slats in the shutters. Morning clouds were slowly relinquishing their white to blue. For people who weren't out running, white pants and summer dresses were in order. A few too many cars were out for the traffic to move entirely freely. Out the windshield of the Prius, the trees beside the Turnpike stood in reds and oranges and yellows like a quick preview of autumn. The tinted side windows gave the green of the median grass a false intensity and made the sky look polluted. On the winding back roads of the Main Line, a single lawn studded with dandelions betrayed how much effort had gone into all those other spotless yards under their blooming trees. Dogwoods spread salmon-colored petals. The afternoon was made for sitting out in indefinitely, long after lunch was over and past the end of a leisurely dessert. The wind and the light both came strong and clear across the rest-stop parking lot. A jet dropping toward the Newark runway overtook the car, unnervingly huge and lustrous. Reflections from the mylar wrapper on a giant chocolate egg trembled wildly inside the car on the elevated highway. The daylight was too long and the air too clear for Manhattan to be awash in shifting color; the buildings stood instead as precisely and literally themselves, in array, detailed down to the irregular matrix of which blinds were down behind a glass curtain wall and which were up. The fins on the spire of the Empire State Building shone silver, just silver. Even in the shade of the city streets there were intimations of the light nearby: bouncing deep inside the open front of a bar, glowing in the pear blossoms, announcing a curve up ahead on Broadway. Some of the people in the throngs had wrongly reacted by wearing shorts. These conditions were why light jackets existed. And why there were ornaments in the cornices up in the late sun, and tables out on the sidewalk in the open.
EASY LISTENING DEP'T.
HERE IS TODAY'S Indignity Morning Podcast!
Tom Scocca
CLICK ON THIS box to find the Indignity Morning Podcast archive.
TOM SCOCCA
ADVICE DEP'T.
GOT SOMETHING YOU need to justify to yourself, or to the world at large? Other columnists are here to judge you, but The Sophist is here to tell you why you’re right. Direct your questions to The Sophist, at indignity@indignity.net, and get the answers you want.
SANDWICH RECIPES DEP'T.
WE PRESENT INSTRUCTIONS in aid of the assembly of a sandwich selected from Prague Chapter Book Of Recipes, compiled by Marie Paidar and Blanche Kammerer, published in 1922, and available at archive.org for the delectation of all.
RIBBON SANDWICHES—Five large slices bread cut thin, one cup thick cream salad dressing, one-fourth cup green pepper chopped fine, one-fourth cup red radish skins chopped fine, one-fourth cup cucumber chopped fine, one-fourth stuffed olives chopped fine. Butter four slices bread slightly, spread the peppers on one slice, the radish on the next, the cucumber on the third, and on the fourth the olives. Put a thick layer of salad dressing on each mixture. Pile one slice on top of another, layer cake fashion, with the remaining slice of unbuttered bread on top. Cut in thin slices and arrange on serving plate to show the green, red, white and olive layers. MARIE PAIDAR.
If you decide to prepare and attempt to enjoy a sandwich inspired by this offering, be sure to send a picture to indignity@indignity.net.
